Two days to my first big comedy gig. I'm so nervous! Mr Henderson is very kind and lends me the key to the Animal Aid social centre so I can practice my act.
It's very strange telling jokes to an empty room, and I start to worry that the invited guests won't find me funny at all.
When I get home I find Val reading through my notes and joke ideas.
"This is really terrible Rad!"
What?! She's supposed to be supportive, not make me feel worse.
"It's like you are pretending to be a comedian off the tv, rather than just being yourself."
"Get off my pc, " I yell, stamping out of the room in a panic.
Maeve doesn't seem to understand how upset I am.
"Val can be a bit blunt, but she's honest."
"I'll put your name down for that admin course, as a back-up." Callie suggests from the kitchen.
She looks so upset when I swear at her, that I'm a bit shocked at how angry I've become. This isn't me!
I find myself crying in the elevator wanting to be anywhere but this awful city.
The dreadful truth thing is that my flat-share buddies are right. The act isn't working. Val said to be myself, but how? The gig is on Saturday and I have no idea how to fix things. I've lost my friends, and any prospect of the comedy career I've dreamt of since being a child.
The only option left is to go back to the Animal Aid centre, and let them know I'm cancelling. At least they will have time to find someone else before the weekend. I feel dreadful when they are so nice to me, I don't deserve it!
"We didn't mean to put you under pressure," explains Mandy, it's just so hard to get someone to work for free, and we can't afford a proper entertainer.
"I guess I could do it again, like last year " says Barry.
Barry looks so miserable that I'm offering to help him out with some fresh jokes before I know what I'm doing.
"That's really kind," says Mandy, you could use the office to get a new script together.
For some reason, writing material that I don't have to deliver comes a lot easier than the painful process of creating my own act. I even manage to get some funny lines about accountants into the spiel, and the group are really happy with the result.
It's getting late so Barry takes me home. His car feels luxurious compared to the trams I usually rely on. I don't say much though, as I'm worrying about how I can explain my awful behaviour to Callie, and whether she'll understand. Thankfully everyone is already asleep when I creep in, so I have more time to plan my apologies.
This city life is more challenging than I could possibly have imagined. Well, as Scarlet once said, "Tomorrow is another day!".
